We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
