everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
