just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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