if i can run in heels then i can drive
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
