LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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