he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
