Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
