you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
