She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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