It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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