Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
