she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
