ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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