Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
