We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
