Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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