DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
