just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
