I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
