Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
im drinking this country out of the recession.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
