So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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