I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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