You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
