i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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