If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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