dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
