By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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