Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
