even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Randomize
