sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
