You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
