I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
