Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
