Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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