Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
