Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
false alarm, still single
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
