but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
