This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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