I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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