Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
