I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
