I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
