I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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