I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
