she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
