We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
