I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
