Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
