Where is the hickey?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
