Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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