Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize